Ugh I Hate This

This Isn't One Of Those Blogs With A Depressing Subject Line, But When You Open It, It's Actually All Sunshine And Rainbows. 

I hate those "Gotcha, I'm actually really fantastic" emails and blogs (*eye roll*)

So here's the thing: this is hard. Duh. Anyone who's a parent of course already knew that, but here I was thinking I'd catch snatches of time to paint and work while Ean was asleep.

Ummmmm....between needing to sleep myself, clean bottles, eat and everything else, taking 20 minutes to set myself up to paint isn't realistic when he's going to start making noises 10 minutes after falling asleep.

But that's not what I hate (although this whole new schedule is truly exhausting and I'm so grateful for all the help friends and family have provided).

What I hate is this painting I'm working on (picture below)....I have this idea in my head and even after repainting this a multitude of times, it's not turning out how I want it to...

So I'm pressing on and reworking and repainting. Maybe I'll scratch it...to be seen.

What I hate is wanting to send out pictures and connect with people....but it has to take the backseat for now because of all things baby.

I know you get it.

The new paintings are coming...very slowly....but one day this fall they'll be done, and I'll look forward to sharing them then :)

In the meantime, if you're contemplating any custom work for holiday presents, please get in touch sooner rather than later since I only have a limited amount of space and time.

OH!! I just remembered that I also offer gift certificates so that you can give someone the gift of art, but they can choose what they want/order something custom themselves! (seriously, I just remembered lol...so tired)

xo

Hannah

Arts Letters & Numbers ~ Wrapping It All Up

As I look back at my time at Arts Letters & Numbers, I needed this week away from normal life to expand my horizons both literally and figuratively. Feeling a bit cooped up in NYC, but being totally unaware of the fact, it was lovely to get into the space of Upstate New York countryside and meet new people and discuss new ideas.

Look how beautiful these organic eggs are ~ I've never seen naturally green, blue and pink ones before!

While it took me a while to find a groove with the outcomes of my paintings, the Arts Letters & Numbers residency allowed me the room to follow my circling trains of thought, explore painting processes and stretch my expectations for myself.

I've come away a bit calmer and assured that if I follow my instinct, it doesn't really matter what the outcome is because the larger connection between seemingly dissonant ideas is me.

On Sunday, I revealed my paintings for my fellow residents for their feedback and critique. And here's what I learned:

1. It's scary to put yourself out there to be judged. I was shaky trying to express my thoughts.

2. What people see in my work is how it makes them feel first and my messaging second. This was good news because it's what I'm going for!

3. They helped me to crystalize the words to say that this collection is about my emotions as they relate to the changing world as modeled through landscape. They are introspective, but not serene.

4. I've finalized the idea that this collection is "Nature, Muted" not the other way around. Because it's more than just neutral abstract landscapes. These paintings encapsulate my anxiety around not being able to fully see the landscape as societal trends are indifferent to its destruction. In this way, nature is itself muted, in that we can't hear it; and some don't want to hear it and are't interested in its preservation.

But while all of that seems heavy, the paintings themselves can be seen as sending that emotional message, or they can be something benign to behold. As always, I invite others' interpretations and emotions to surface about my work.

"Nature, Muted" paintings will be for sale on Wednesday June 14th (Flag Day!)

Arts Letters & Numbers ~ The Critique

Saturday evening saw a quick trip to the grocery store and a collaborative dinner effort between Dan and me to make homemade pizzas (him) and frozen butternut squash ravioli (me). Clearly it was not a fair trade. But we had a lovely time shooting the breeze in the kitchen all evening, and his pesto pizza was beyond.

After finally finding a rhythm in my painting that spoke to me (it only took 5 days and to the near end of my residency), it was time to pull everything I'd been working on together.

My sunny writing and coffee spot most mornings here at Arts Letters & Numbers

To recap, I'd initially started the week wanting to mute out formal landscape paintings to create soft abstracts. I went down that path and wasn't in love with what I was producing, so I turned to my back up project: penning (or painting) short words or phrases that kept bubbling up for me in moments of annoyance ~ with people, situations and really the overall feeling of society at this moment in history.

This got me thinking about all the ways in which we are angry right now, but in particular this week, the degradation and disregard for science and the environment which is clearly being trumpeted from the top down. Really, what the hell? It's truly beyond comprehension for me and so many others that the importance of nature and science is paramount to the rest of our lives.

I've always felt a deep connection with the outdoors growing up in the woods. I've never been one for camping but just being outside is enough to make me feel bright and shiny and happy.

So as I started to look at the body of work I'd created over the past week, I saw some commonality amongst the chaos. While yes, this has been a time of transition for me and for all of us, we must consider what our message is and how we communicate that effectively.

What truly cuts more to the heart of it is an underlying angst about the ideas and policies that have seemingly been foisted upon us without our consent.

As I wrap it all together, I see this body of work that I've created this week as a statement of the FRUSTRATION I'm feeling and witnessing around me. Frustration at the slow (or maybe rapid?) destruction of the environment and the words and phrases that bounce around my head in annoyance.

Does that all make sense? Well one would see...

Morning on the front porch